The Day After Valentine’s: What Love Actually Reveals

Yesterday the world posted flowers.

Today the world wakes up with truth.

Valentine’s Day has a way of amplifying everything.

If you’re in love — it feels magical.

If you’re unsure — it feels heavy.

If you’re alone — it feels loud.

But here’s what I’ve realized:

Valentine’s Day doesn’t create anything.

It exposes what’s already there.

And breathwork teaches the same thing.

Love Isn’t the Problem. Avoidance Is.

Most people think they want love.

But what they actually want is:

• Validation

• Comfort

• Someone to quiet the noise in their head

• Someone to make them feel chosen

That’s not love.

That’s regulation outsourced.

When you sit in a breathwork session long enough…

When your body starts shaking…

When the mask drops…

You realize something powerful:

If you can’t sit with yourself, you will always struggle to sit with someone else.

The Real Work Is Internal

The past year has been a masterclass for me.

Relationships.

Attraction.

Ego.

Financial stress.

Validation loops.

Impostor syndrome.

Rebuilding.

And here’s what I know:

Love isn’t about finding someone who completes you.

It’s about becoming someone who doesn’t need completion.

That’s the shift.

Not cold.

Not detached.

Not independent to the point of isolation.

Whole.

The Nervous System Doesn’t Lie

When you’re in the right space with someone:

• Your body feels calm.

• Your chest opens.

• You don’t feel like you’re auditioning.

• You’re not performing.

When you’re in the wrong space:

• You feel anxious.

• You overthink.

• You seek reassurance.

• You scroll.

• You look elsewhere for dopamine.

That’s not a character flaw.

That’s dysregulation.

And breathwork?

It teaches you how to regulate yourself so love becomes a choice — not a survival strategy.

The Day After Is Where Growth Happens

The flowers wilt.

The dinner reservations are over.

The Instagram stories expire.

Now it’s just you.

Ask yourself:

• Did yesterday feel aligned?

• Did it feel forced?

• Did it feel peaceful?

• Or did it feel like you were trying to prove something?

No judgment.

Just awareness.

Because awareness is the doorway.

Love Starts With Leadership

Men don’t talk about this enough.

We’re taught to perform.

Provide.

Suppress.

Win.

But we’re not taught how to feel.

We’re not taught how to sit in discomfort without running.

We’re not taught how to lead ourselves before leading a relationship.

And that’s where the work is.

Not in blaming.

Not in chasing.

Not in proving.

In breathing.

In slowing down.

In becoming the man who doesn’t need noise to feel alive.

Final Thought

Valentine’s Day isn’t about romance.

It’s about reflection.

And if yesterday stirred something in you ….. good or uncomfortable…. that’s your invitation.

Do the work.

Sit in the breath.

Build the version of you that doesn’t chase love…

But attracts it from stability.

—

If this resonates, my monthly online breathwork sessions are a space to start.

Not to fix you.

But to bring you back to yourself.

Because the most powerful relationship you’ll ever build…

Is the one inside your own nervous system.

Vince

#LYJ5D

Live Your Journey 5D